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Writer's pictureKristen Koppers

'NO' is not a bad word


A student asked me the other day, "Why can't we change our topic?" While normally I would let students change topics for their paper, the paper is due in less than 72 hours. With over two months working on it, the quality of the paper won't be the quality I would get after two months of research and writing. It wasn't about changing topics; it was about the student wanting to give up. I looked at her and wondered why now? Why did she want to change the topic when it is due in 3 days? I simply told her, "no."


Like I said it wasn't about her wanting to just change her topic. She decided that she wanted to give up because she felt that she couldn't find credible sources. Having almost a year with her in my class, I knew I was not going to let her just give up. She had to work through what was holding her back.


If we let students just "give up" because it's going to be tough, then what are we teaching them? Just to give up when things seem to get difficult? In my classes, students will hear the word, 'no,' and it is not a bad word. Now remind you that I teach high school. Students want to be spoken to like an adult; they do not want to be treated as children. So hearing the word 'no' is a word they will have to get used to.


It's important that we are teaching students from all grade levels important lessons that are carried over from year to year. My son was working on a math problem that he couldn't get within seconds. He asked me to help him. And I told him, 'no'. It wasn't about me being mean to him. But he gave up right away. If I helped him soon after he gave up, this will be a continuous process through the years. Not only would I be teaching him to give up early, but I would not help his critical reasoning skills later in life. Not everything is going to be 'sugar coated' and end in happy endings.


So it wasn't about about my student wanting to change her topic. It was about her wanting to just give up. Not on my watch.

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